You have dark cicrles under your eyes for the late nights and early dawn trip to the kitchen or breastfeeding of your newborn. Or you have been preparing all of these purees, too caught up with your baby’s health that you have forgotten how to make up. Or for father’s out there, you have your share of erratic sleeps and daily grind to work you no longer have time for long cuddles with your wife.
You are both adjusting as a couple with the new addition to your family. Household chores, sleeping arrangements and sleeping habits have surely changed. Parenting is not something you learn overnight. It takes a couple of months to finally be able to adjust. Your day starts very early and ends very late. And it seems keeping romance alive after baby seems to be the farthest from your mind.
The new baby should not be a reason for you to slack down with your coupledom. The baby is not just the center of your attention. In between the responsibility of being parents, both of you are both partners foremost.
Never forget the romance. Never forget how it all started. Yes the baby is a great bundle of joy but your emotional energy should not be solely focused on that. Here are some practical tips you and your partner can try to keep the romance alive after the baby arrives.
1. Have a Date.
Put the children to sleep early. Or hire a nanny to be able to get time out for that date night. Spend a night out of town. But nannies can be very expensive. It would also be very helpful if you got your in-laws to help you out with your baby. If you do not have those luxuries, get that time to be together after dinner.
Have a once a week tradition to be together after kid’s bedtime. Have some wine together and cuddle. Just no distractions or worrying with the kids.
2. Open the Line of Communication.
Have small talk, give updates about your daily lives. Absurd things that you used to talk about. Do not take for granted those little things you both enjoy doing before. Don’t just sit down on the couches and do not even talk. Turn off your cellphones. No TV. If you have TV in your bedroom, time to take that out. You can play cards or just sweet pillow talk. Put little notes on your partner’s mug of coffee. Talk about the changes both of you are experiencing, the difficulties and future plans you want.
3. Have more Touches- Kisses, Hugs, Cuddle more and Lotsa Sex!
For mothers, post-baby stretch marks can be very daunting. You might think it is not sexy but you have to first learn to love your body.
Nutritionists say that 8 glasses of water is needed to be healthy. We need lots of kisses and hugs too. Make it 5-8 times a day too! Physical contact though hugs and kisses makes it possible to stimulate oxytocin in the brain. Cuddle more and go to bed together.
Have breakfast in bed more often. Or how about morning sex? Now that will surely fire up and make your relationship healthy.
4. Save Water, Share Shower Together!
Surprise him/her while they are in the shower. Be playful. Take out that sexy lingerie. Having a regular sex life is crucial in healthy relationship and keeping that connection.
5. Surprise Each Other. Do Something Crazy Sexy!
Send your partner a sexy text while at work. Prepare a meal, or cook a meal together. How about a bubble bath? Exchange massage or go together to a spa.
Remember little things matter. Intimacy is created and must be sustained. Romance is something you both wanted. Manage your time. Have priorities to keep the passion and fire continuously burning. Always remember, the “us time” could be an hour or more together. The quality is up for you both to decide, even after the baby is born.